ICU and you and you too...

I spent yet another holiday in ICU. Oh joy. It was all very nonchalant this time. I made friends with the nurses, phlebotomists and doctors. I learned valuable tactical skills needed to maneuver with double IV lines. I also learned that when your a Martian like I am you need medical care sooner than earthlings do...*snicker*.

I do believe that I am done with all this medical nonsense and that I need to turn over a new leaf. My arms look like I am a junkie and I came home with 30 pounds of water weight, all of which has been properly dispersed, thank you very much.

I am off for a much needed haircut and hopefully back to work next week.

The bad nights...

I thought it was going to be different than it is...but it's not. I am the married "spinster". The one that is only good for helping others. A distant friend said to me once: "Your plate is always full, but none of it is ever for you." She was right.

One of my favorite quotes is one of my own: "Life requires less living than I thought it would." A truer statement has never been uttered. This is one of the bad nights, full of bitterness, remorse and regrets. I miss my dog.

(I started writing this last September, when I was feeling sorry for myself).

Oddly enough tonight, 5 months later and still missing Maggie-Jo, I mourn the loss of our puppy Veronica "Ronnie" Jean, who passed away this evening of unknown causes. Although I am not bitter or full of regrets tonight, but I am empty and so, so sad. She was to say the least, interesting and very lively, not to mention opinionated, as Heelers often are.

I was holding her as the life left her body, feeling helpless and scared...when something odd happened, I broke down all the way to my core, my heart just cracked. She was not even a year old, and she just "broke", I am usually very strong in these situations, I fell to the ground, Carole told Damien to "Get her out of here!" He held me and told me to quit apologizing, and that it wasn't my fault, I had done everything I could. He is a kind man and I love him for it.

My kind man wept while driving home, about forty miles. As we approached our driveway he became inconsolable, and said "I don't know which is worse, the fact that when I walk in she won't be there or explaining this all to Archie" (our 5 year old male). Archie had held patient watch over his girl for the last 48 hours, and he would try to find her...my heart ached for the men in my life.

About four a.m. yesterday morning, I took a knee and asked "whom ever was in charge of little red Heelers" to "cut her a break", and I warbled out a quiet little prayer. Some would say it went unanswered, but I think allowing her a fast release I the arms of Daddy and Mommy was the answer I got.

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. She "needed" to be released from suffering, so I thank whomever is in charge of little red Heelers from the bottom of my very broken heart.

Veronica "Ronnie"-Jean April 1, 2010 - February 13, 2011 Rest in peace Miss Jean.

What we are

"We are quicksilver, a fleeting shadow, a distant sound. Our home has no boundaries beyond which we cannot pass. We live in music, in a flash of color. We live on the wind, and in the sparkle of a star."...Endora (Bewitched)

Channeling my desire for Chanel

According to Chanel ...

Chanel Dissolvant Doux Nail Colour Remover

-The nail enamel remover that cares for your nails
-Removes all traces of nail enamel at a stroke, leaving impeccably clean nails
-Gentle formula is kind to nails
-Contains a special blend of water and acetone, which removes nail enamel effectively, gently and fast.

Once again I am smitten by the chic glass bottle, the Chanel moniker, the idea of haute couture for something as plebeian as taking off nail polish. I can't help it. I am so taken by this obsession that as I type I am doing so with stubs, yes you saw it right, stubs, no nails, nada, nein, nunc.

This product is offered at a mere $20. A 20 spot for your own personal stash of under the radar glamour. Really? Really. I would shove a pregnant woman out of the way if I saw this in a bin at TJ Maxx or Ross, to hell with the social graces. I would hide in the corner of the bathroom in the stall in the waaay back, giggling to my self...my preccioussoussssssssss.

Available at: http://www.beautyencounter.com/3145891331004.html?search

Another addition to my unholy obsession

Nail polish remover, a.k.a NPR, is an obsession of mine that occasionally links up with another star on my "freak flag" flying as cute packaging. Mix the two together and I am like a wolf at a steak convention, I can't help it my instincts kick in and Mother Nature takes over.

Today's absurdly overpriced offering is Paul & Joe's Nail Enamel Remover , $15. "A silky formula blending right into nail enamel, allowing you to instantly and effortlessly remove even glitter polish and nail art. Added conditioning agents provide nails with more tender loving care than ever, removing nail enamel without damaging the nails."

Who cares what it does?!? It could be toilet cleaner packaged like that. Hell if all mundane cleaning products came packaged like that you could actually eat off my floors.

Gorgeous! Beautiful, dainty, feminine, curvaceous, pink, retro, 50's *le pant, le wheeze, l'amour*.

Years ago Avon produced a NPR in a very unflattering, benign container, however it smelled like red hots...so luxurious that it left your fingertips soft and didn't whiten or dry out my nails. That was my exception to the packaging rules, luxury can stand in for looks, put them both together in the same room and I am indeed a happy girl.

Paul & Joe Cosmetics are available at: http://www.beautyhabit.com/paulandjoe_nails.html

2010...What's in it for you?

(The view from my bedroom window)

Well kids, it's a New Year and hopefully a better year than "The Year that shall not be mentioned". Last year was a crap year for just about everyone, including us. But, like just about everyone else, we muddled through.

We all lost so many of those dear to us, children, parents...hell I even lost my beloved little girl, Maggie-Jo.

This year seems so much brighter I am afraid to say it out loud for fear that I will jinx the rainbow. We have a new home, lots of little ones just here or on their way, opportunities opening up, family and friends re-entering our once very closed circle, and light where only darkness was before. Fate turned up the heat, we cooled our heels and it seems that perseverance paid off.

The view from my bed every morning now reminds me how lucky and in love I am and in the words of the Prophet known as 'Ice Cube'..."today was a good day."

Bobb-o and the great dirt track...

So Wednesday, Sept. 23, Bobby Rife (a.k.a. Bobb-o), packed his truck and headed for that great dirt track in the sky.

I cannot say enough about this man, he taught me to drive, to dance, to make late night runs to BK, he was the cool Uncle/Cousin. He made three wonderful girls who in turn made a slew of terriffic grandkids.

I won't go on but it needs to be said...Bobby, you and your odly soothing gravel filled voice of reason will be missed.

Always...Wendell

(Photo of Bobby and his youngest Amber at her wedding)