Ignoring me to my face

So my husband finally talked me into getting a "smart phone".  To preface, they literally give me a panic attack and it drives me utterly insane to watch a room full of "friends" ignore each other while they fondle their phones and obviously text their "more important friends", all while ignoring you politely within their cyber bubble. 

Why do we need this much media ALL the time?  I mean, really...what do you do with it?  I liked my old, cracked, purple cell.  It wasn't the size of a small freaking laptop, the camera lens was scratched, it could text.  I wasn't slick or fancy.

This fucking phone is a giant electronic leash, tugging at my cranium, I can feel it lurking in my purse, waiting for me to fall asleep, and then morphing into that little psycho phone from Transformers, only to eat it's way into my brain and turn me into a phone clutching, GPS implanted freak.

I want to take this little SOB back-NOW!  I thought I could learn to love it, but after tonight, being in that room full of friends and pulling that menacing little shit from my bag just so I would have something to do, I feel justified in it's return to the mother ship.

A man recently got run over by a subway car, the guy snapping away with his phone never even tried to pull him up...but you bet he sold that pic in a hot minute. 

I admittedly spend more than my fair share on the comp, I am an insomniac, I don't get out much, when I do visit, I enjoy actual interaction, fuck even Steven Hawking will talk to you.  When my husband is home he has that phone in his hand about 80% of the time, I have learned to talk to the back of his head.

I would rather have someone I care about tell me to fuck off and walk away then to ignore me to my face.

This girl

I miss this girl. She wasn't afraid of anything. She had passion and creativity, she gave a shit.

Every now and then I think about her, she was really fun, reckless, but fun. Starting as many fires as she put out, the first to admit it and the last one to know. Change your oil or your mind, made no difference, she was always up to it.

This chick loved horses, dogs and kids, getting dirty by cleaning up messes and never turning down anything shiny.

She dug glitter and grease equally. Cupcakes or caviar with indifference, "it all tastes yummy" is what she would say. She fit in with white trash or blue bloods at high tea, cowboys at high noon and the "Creatures" beyond midnight.

But Stevie had it right all along and rulers really do make bad lovers, so she put her kingdom up for sale. L'amour, l'amour.

Yup I miss her sometimes...maybe, after she pawned her crown, her edges softened and she found someone to mellow out for. I wish her the best, and I love her. She taught me everything I know.

ICU and you and you too...

I spent yet another holiday in ICU. Oh joy. It was all very nonchalant this time. I made friends with the nurses, phlebotomists and doctors. I learned valuable tactical skills needed to maneuver with double IV lines. I also learned that when your a Martian like I am you need medical care sooner than earthlings do...*snicker*.

I do believe that I am done with all this medical nonsense and that I need to turn over a new leaf. My arms look like I am a junkie and I came home with 30 pounds of water weight, all of which has been properly dispersed, thank you very much.

I am off for a much needed haircut and hopefully back to work next week.

The bad nights...

I thought it was going to be different than it is...but it's not. I am the married "spinster". The one that is only good for helping others. A distant friend said to me once: "Your plate is always full, but none of it is ever for you." She was right.

One of my favorite quotes is one of my own: "Life requires less living than I thought it would." A truer statement has never been uttered. This is one of the bad nights, full of bitterness, remorse and regrets. I miss my dog.

(I started writing this last September, when I was feeling sorry for myself).

Oddly enough tonight, 5 months later and still missing Maggie-Jo, I mourn the loss of our puppy Veronica "Ronnie" Jean, who passed away this evening of unknown causes. Although I am not bitter or full of regrets tonight, but I am empty and so, so sad. She was to say the least, interesting and very lively, not to mention opinionated, as Heelers often are.

I was holding her as the life left her body, feeling helpless and scared...when something odd happened, I broke down all the way to my core, my heart just cracked. She was not even a year old, and she just "broke", I am usually very strong in these situations, I fell to the ground, Carole told Damien to "Get her out of here!" He held me and told me to quit apologizing, and that it wasn't my fault, I had done everything I could. He is a kind man and I love him for it.

My kind man wept while driving home, about forty miles. As we approached our driveway he became inconsolable, and said "I don't know which is worse, the fact that when I walk in she won't be there or explaining this all to Archie" (our 5 year old male). Archie had held patient watch over his girl for the last 48 hours, and he would try to find her...my heart ached for the men in my life.

About four a.m. yesterday morning, I took a knee and asked "whom ever was in charge of little red Heelers" to "cut her a break", and I warbled out a quiet little prayer. Some would say it went unanswered, but I think allowing her a fast release I the arms of Daddy and Mommy was the answer I got.

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. She "needed" to be released from suffering, so I thank whomever is in charge of little red Heelers from the bottom of my very broken heart.

Veronica "Ronnie"-Jean April 1, 2010 - February 13, 2011 Rest in peace Miss Jean.

What we are

"We are quicksilver, a fleeting shadow, a distant sound. Our home has no boundaries beyond which we cannot pass. We live in music, in a flash of color. We live on the wind, and in the sparkle of a star."...Endora (Bewitched)

Channeling my desire for Chanel

According to Chanel ...

Chanel Dissolvant Doux Nail Colour Remover

-The nail enamel remover that cares for your nails
-Removes all traces of nail enamel at a stroke, leaving impeccably clean nails
-Gentle formula is kind to nails
-Contains a special blend of water and acetone, which removes nail enamel effectively, gently and fast.

Once again I am smitten by the chic glass bottle, the Chanel moniker, the idea of haute couture for something as plebeian as taking off nail polish. I can't help it. I am so taken by this obsession that as I type I am doing so with stubs, yes you saw it right, stubs, no nails, nada, nein, nunc.

This product is offered at a mere $20. A 20 spot for your own personal stash of under the radar glamour. Really? Really. I would shove a pregnant woman out of the way if I saw this in a bin at TJ Maxx or Ross, to hell with the social graces. I would hide in the corner of the bathroom in the stall in the waaay back, giggling to my self...my preccioussoussssssssss.

Available at: http://www.beautyencounter.com/3145891331004.html?search

Another addition to my unholy obsession

Nail polish remover, a.k.a NPR, is an obsession of mine that occasionally links up with another star on my "freak flag" flying as cute packaging. Mix the two together and I am like a wolf at a steak convention, I can't help it my instincts kick in and Mother Nature takes over.

Today's absurdly overpriced offering is Paul & Joe's Nail Enamel Remover , $15. "A silky formula blending right into nail enamel, allowing you to instantly and effortlessly remove even glitter polish and nail art. Added conditioning agents provide nails with more tender loving care than ever, removing nail enamel without damaging the nails."

Who cares what it does?!? It could be toilet cleaner packaged like that. Hell if all mundane cleaning products came packaged like that you could actually eat off my floors.

Gorgeous! Beautiful, dainty, feminine, curvaceous, pink, retro, 50's *le pant, le wheeze, l'amour*.

Years ago Avon produced a NPR in a very unflattering, benign container, however it smelled like red hots...so luxurious that it left your fingertips soft and didn't whiten or dry out my nails. That was my exception to the packaging rules, luxury can stand in for looks, put them both together in the same room and I am indeed a happy girl.

Paul & Joe Cosmetics are available at: http://www.beautyhabit.com/paulandjoe_nails.html